I must be the only person on this planet who still uses a snapchat filter. Least of all this terrible dogface one.
Can you believe it’s FINALLY the end of 2019. I don’t like to be wishing my days away nor do I want to speak on behalf of all the nations but this year has been pretty abysmal so I’m quite happy to wave goodbye to it. It felt like it went on for about a decade and by the time December rolled around I swear it went from the 1st to Christmas Day in the blink of an eye?!
I’m not a big fan of New Years Eve really, I feel like it’s a time for the romantics, the couples or those that just like to get a little bit boozed up for any apparent reason. Sentimental ol’ me doesn’t really like this night. I find it quite emotional; what if I don’t want the year to end?! What if I’m not prepared for what the next year might behold? What if it’s full of happiness? New adventures? New friends or love? Or what if it’s full of sadness? Feeling stagnant? Disappointment, rejection and heartbreak? What if I want to become one of those crazy women you read about on the front page of Take A Break magazine who are stuck living in the past simply because I thought the year 2012 was the best and I’m a stickler for staying in the same place.
I’m not one for resolutions either because I usually forget all about them and then feel guilty that I hadn’t kept up with something that I promised myself I’d do in January. I totally get the point of view that if you want to do something, do it anyday, don’t wait for mondays or January 1st or a new decade; make the change you want to see for when you want to see it. But seeing as 2020 is the year I’ll be turning the grand old age of 25 I thought what better time to put some thoughts into action and do things to make me happy.
Make (good) friends:
I’ve spent a lot of 2019 feeling quite lonely. I’ve lost more friends than I’ve made and and whilst it was incredibly upsetting to go through, life is too short to hold grudges and I can honestly say I can only wish them the best in life. I miss them but sometimes good things fall apart for greater things to fall together and one day in the future we might become chums again. I’ve always been jealous of those with lifelong friendships and will have an army of guests at the wedding whereas I’ll be lucky if I could fill a pew. A mini goal of mine is to make at least one new good friend in the year 2020. Failing that a couple lush drinking buddies will do.
Be happy on my own:
Slight oxymoron to the previous point but I want to be able to live comfortably and not feel like a massive loser if I went to the cinema on my own, coffee on my own or a delightful lunch date for one. There’s something quite liberating about doing this, I’m not sure what exactly it is but knowing that you don’t need to beg and plead to someone to hang out with you and you’re perfectly content taking yourself on a solo date sounds quite nice when you think about it.
Use social media effectively:
I took a little break from Instagram during 2019 and found it really conducive to the way I now view all my social media platforms and what I choose to get from it. I chose to step back for a couple of months for a number of reasons, one reason (and the main reason) I ran out of storage space on my phone (If I had a pound for everytime I said that I’d be able to afford about 20 of the latest iPhones!) so chose to delete Instagram off of my phone as that was one of the apps I used the least. I still could use it on my iPad if I so wished but I found that I went several months without it! I didn’t miss it and I didn’t miss out on any life events from any of my close friends as they had my number anyway?! When I returned back online in the autumn, I had a bit of a Marie Kondo moment and purged my following list of all of the accounts that didn’t spark joy for me or I just weren’t really interested in. A lot of people I’d thought I was internet chummy with had already unfollowed me by that point; but hey who am I to judge as I only noticed when I was unfollowing them too! Plus, at the end of the day who actually cares who follows who on a website that might not be around forever! Look at bebo? Still friends with the people you had in your top 16???
This is another factor I noticed of me taking a side step from the ‘gram is that I actually no longer care as much about all the numbers, if I’ve lost or gained followers? If anyone has liked the last picture I posted? I mean don’t get me wrong it’s nice when someone double taps on one of my pictures but I’m posting for me not what because it’ll please Susie on Insta. (No offence to any Susie’s on Insta). The lesson learnt here is that your social media feed will be exactly what you make it. If you find it a bit of a toxic sweat den of ‘WHY AREN’T MY THIGHS AS THIN AS RANDOM INSTA MODEL’ unfollow her/him. If you’re finding yourself constantly having fomo from exuberant parties and events unfollow those accounts too. Same with all of your social media platforms to be honest; I noticed my Twitter experience changed dramatically as soon as I blocked Piers Morgan, Katie Hopkins, Boris Johnson and other sorts of human toilets.
Explore a creative hobby:
I’d really like to get in touch with my creativity in 2020. Something that looks super relaxing like painting, or pottery or needlework. It looks great to help stimulate the mind, switch off from your troubles and insert yourself into some new hideously deformed creation (speaking from experience I am a terrible artist) not literally though obvs I’m not that bad.
Can we all take it in turns to give me a massive pat on the back for actually reaching a goal this year? I didn’t see it coming either so when I ACTUALLY read more than 30 books this year I was gobsmacked. I’m not going to put a number on it for 2020 and just see what happens and not pressurise myself. But i’m hoping I’ll be able to improve! Read the post on all the books I read over 2019 here.
Find a job I love:
God, I’m so jealous of the people that go to work happy, work happy, have nice colleagues and don’t have the sunday night dread of another full working week again. I’m really worried that’ll I’ll never find the passion i’m longing for and I’ll spend my entire working life coasting from one thing to the next in the hope that the perfect role is out there for me. Am I asking too much or is everyone in a job that doesn’t fulfil every single possible need but pays the bills and that’s enough.
Once you dye your hair you really don’t look back. I’ve had to rebuild my hair back to normal/healthy condition for 12 months and whilst it’s been a long process, one that’s made my hair feel a billion times better, the short attention span in me is desperate for some kind of reinvention process to go through. Pierce my ear in three places, get a tattoo or dye my hair dark blue. I just really enjoy changing up my look. It’s fun and you kinda grow to like the smell of hair bleach.
Do more with my blog:
I mean it this time. I won’t lie, or toot my own horn (but toot toot here I come) I have all these exciting ideas floating around my head about what I want to write and what I want to publish on here but the only person standing in my way from actually posting these ideas is Me. I need to get myself into a good routine and post regularly, I’ve got some cool ideas for regular features and formats I want to try out this year and more importantly I want to enjoy it again. I felt for so long that the things I was posting weren’t really reflecting me or the way I’d write and avoided coming on here for a lot of 2019. I had a wee nasty streak of envy spike through as well that didn’t help. When you see your blogging friends getting these amazing opportunities of course I’m happy for them and love reading and sharing the love but it’s only human nature to also aspire for that type of thing yourself and want the same for you as well. For now and for 2020 I’m really happy being me and being What Abbie Says and I wouldn’t wish this responsibility of being me on anyone else ;).
Drink more water:
Find me a New Years Eve list of things where this isn’t one of the points on it but I usually am quite good at keeping up a good/healthy water intake. But i’ve been slacking lately in the colder months opting to have a permanent IV drip of tea and coffee would be my choice over a quick glug of H20. How gross is the word glug by the way??
But in all seriousness I need to get better at this. Whether I’m going to become one of those people with the water bottles with the special markers on the side to keep you on track throughout the day I’m not really sure? I’ll keep you updated.
I find it really difficult to speak up, use my voice and tell people how much they mean to me, shocking when you think how often I could rant and rave about a whole manner of sins to all you lovely lot. But life can come at you hard sometimes and before you know it you realise just how fragile life really is. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about so try to spend as much time as you can being happy, smiling and going easy on yourself and those around you. You don’t know how much time we’ve all got left on this precious planet we call home so we might as well spend it well.
I want to live healthier both mentally, physically and emotionally. I want to tone up a bit for my own sanity and meaning that if I had to run away from a pack of angry bears I wouldn’t immediately die from just the running part. I want healthy skin and a healthy mind. I want a healthy body and a healthy attitudes to all my friendships and relationships but most of all…I’d love an incredibly healthy bank account for 2020 and beyond.
I hope 2020 and this new decade brings you all the health and happiness you deserve. I hope it’s better than the last and I really hope you filthy lot won’t be waking up tomorrow with the hangover from hell not sure if you’re in need of a priest or an exorcist to lift you out of Satan’s lair.